Embracing Sacred Rage: A Portal to Liberation
I recently ended a relationship that had become a mirror to every trauma wound in my lineage. He wasn’t just a “typical” man. No, he was an embodiment of the archetype of the lineage of men in my family. A carbon copy of my father, his father, and so on. His avoidance, emotional unavailability, and subtle manipulation felt hauntingly familiar. Not just to me, but to the stories passed down through the women in my family: stories of women who lost themselves in the name of love, who made themselves smaller to survive, who forfeited their dreams, their joy, and sometimes their lives at the altar of male fragility.
When I finally walked away, I didn’t just leave. I raged. I spoke truth.
And not the kind of truth that asks for understanding or approval, but the kind that slices clean through illusion. The kind of truth that breaks curses. I exposed the ways he had upheld the systems of patriarchy and the oppression of women. How his behavior was not isolated. but part of a much larger legacy of patriarchal violence and emotional abandonment that has cost Black women dearly. I called out the ways he had hurt not only me, but every woman before me who didn’t get to express what I had refused to let slide.
I did not do this with the intention to pay him back for the hurt that he has caused me. It was not done in bitterness nor malice.
This was an embodiment of my sacred rage.
For those of us who come from a long ancestral lineage tainted with legacies of oppression and marginalization, there is a fire that burns within. One that is fierce and ancient, and craves justice and transmutation. It is sacred rage. A rage that is holy. A rage that is generational. A rage that carries the truth our ancestors were never allowed to speak.
What Is Sacred Rage?
Sacred rage is the divine, purposeful anger that arises in the face of oppression, violation, and injustice. It is not reactive rage, meant to hurt or humiliate. It is anger that comes from clarity, from alignment with truth. It is the voice of the inner warrior, the ancestral protector, the soul crying, “No more.”
It is the fury that says:
I will not shrink myself to be loved.
I will not carry what is not mine to hold.
I will not let this legacy of harm continue through me.
In her book “Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower,” Brittney Cooper stated “What I have is anger. Rage, actually. And that’s the place where more women should begin—with the things that make us angry.” For me, my sacred rage enabled me to reclaim my voice. Not just for myself, but for an entire lineage of silenced women who stood behind me in-solidarity.
Key Aspects of Sacred Rage:
It is Rooted in Love
Though it may be fiery, sacred rage is born from love for the self, for the collective, for the Earth, for justice. It seeks to protect, restore, and reclaim what has been harmed.It is Ancestral and Spiritual
Sacred rage is often intergenerational. It may carry the unspoken cries of ancestors, the rage of those who were enslaved, colonized, erased, or silenced. It is a spiritual inheritance that demands truth and reparation.It Serves as a Catalyst for Transformation
Sacred rage is not about destruction for destruction’s sake. It is the fire that purifies, the storm that clears the way. It calls for change, for justice, for liberation both internally and externally.It is Embodied and Liberating
Sacred rage often lives in the body through tight throats, clenched jaws, tense shoulders. When expressed and channeled consciously, it can be deeply liberating and healing. It’s a way of reclaiming space, voice, and power.It is Not Ego-Driven
It doesn’t seek revenge. Sacred rage is not about domination or control. It is about truth-telling, accountability, and realignment with what is sacred and right.
Why We Need Sacred Rage
For generations, Black and Brown women have been told to “calm down,” to “be nice,” to “stay quiet,” even in the face of betrayal, abandonment, and violence. We’ve been gaslit into believing our pain is too much, our truth too loud, our standards too high. But sacred rage refuses to be domesticated.
In a world that rewards BIPOC silence and punishes power, sacred rage is our birthright. It is the fire that clears the path. It is the roar that restores balance. It is the force that says enough—not just for us, but for our daughters, and their daughters, and the women yet to come.
The Relationship Was a Portal
Looking back, I now see that the relationship was not a detour from my path—it was a divine assignment. A spiritual initiation. It forced me to confront the very pattern I was born to break.
He was emotionally shut down, avoidant, still tethered to the pain of his past. I chased, explained, hoped, and waited. Until I realized: this is familiar. This was the same script my mother played. My grandmother. My great-grandmother. A pattern of overgiving, under-receiving, and dying slowly inside.
So I set it down. And in doing so, I rose up.
The Alchemy of Sacred Rage
When we allow ourselves to feel sacred rage, we become alchemists. We turn centuries of suppression into fuel for transformation. We turn personal betrayal into collective awakening. Sacred rage burns away the illusions of who we thought we had to be and leaves only who we truly are.
And who I am now is a woman unafraid of her own fire.